fuck.

Movies really do distort our perception of love and how love should be, which I think is the main reason why relationships end. People’s expectations of love are too high, and no ‘real life’ love will ever be a cut above any love played out in movies, books or tv, plays or even musical productions — stop convincing yourself you’ll be the exception to the rule, you won’t! I’m always guilty of feeling cheated by love, left broken and hurt, when in reality I’ve got it quite good. I just expect too much because I’m very much caught up in some fantasy man, who can offer some fantasy out-of-this-world love. I’m dreaming.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

"We all build internal sea walls to keep at bay the sadnesses of life and the often overwhelming forces within our minds. In whatever way we do this - through love, world, family, faith, friends, denial, alcohol, drugs, or medication - we build these walls, stone by stone, over a lifetime. One of the most difficult problems is to construct these barriers of such a height and strength that one has a true harbor, a sanctuary away from crippling turmoil and pain, but yet low enough, and permeable enough, to let in fresh seawater that will fend off the inevitable inclination toward brackishness. For someone with my cast of mind and mood, medication is an integral element of this wall: without it, I would be constantly beholden to crushing movements of a mental sea; I would, unquestionably, be dead or insane. But love is, to me, the ultimately more extraordinary part of the breakwater wall: it helps to shut out the terror and awfulness, while at the same time, allowing in life and beauty and vitality. When I first thought about writing this book, I conceived of it as a book about moods, and an illness of moods, in the context of an individual life. As I have written it, however, it has somehow turned out to be very much a book about love as well: love as sustainer, as renewer, and as protector. After each seeming death within my mind or heart, love has returned to re-create hope and to restore life. It has, at its best, made the inherent sadness of life bearable, and its beauty manifest. It has, inexplicably and savingly, provided not only a cloak but a lantern for the darker seasons and grimmer weather."

— Kay Redfield Jamison 

Sorry

No longer means a thing to me. It has lost it’s meaning. It’s simply a word people like to use as an excuse to keep doing something wrong over and over again. More than often people only say it to ease their own guilt, rather than feel bad for the pain and hurt they have caused someone else. Save your breath next time you say sorry to someone because no matter how hard you try to explain why you’re sorry, it’s never enough. Actions, and only actions can show how truly sorry you are. There are too many empty apologies.