Chapter 28 - Paris

 Hele lange tijd nagedacht om een nieuwe post te maken. De afgelopen jaren zijn is ontzettend veel gebeurd. Een nieuwe relatie (die ook weer uit is gegaan), een eigen huisje, een consistente trainingsschema, maar ook gewoon dezelfde basis in werk en vriendinnen.

Vanaf september gaat mijn grootste droom in vervulling, namelijk wonen en werken in Parijs. Ik heb via mijn werk de mogelijkheid gekregen om in het tax accounting team van Parijs te werken. Zelf werk ik momenteel in het Amsterdamse kantoor van PwC. Ondertussen ben ik een assistent manager (SA2). Voor nu bevalt mijn werk mij heel goed, maar ik merk nu al dat we veel politieke strijd is tussen iedereen. Mensen nemen ontslag en daardoor ontwikkelen zich nieuwe kansen voor mij. Voor nu denk ik daar nog niet aan. Ik wil voorlopig alleen mijn lopende opdrachten afronden en verder denk ik niet aan mijn promoties of 

Als ik in Parijs ben, ga ik een ganeplan bedenken. Of eigenlijk al een maand van tevoren. Het idee is dat ik in ieder geval 3 keer per week een wandeling maak door de stad. Ik wil zoveel mogelijk buiten de deur zijn om de sfeer volledig op te nemen. In ieder geval wil ik ook diverse andere steden bezoeken. Hila komt mij ook elke maand in ieder geval bezoeken, dus dan kan ik ook de dingen die ik in de stad wil doen en het bezoek aan bijv Montpellier samen met haar bezoeken.  

To see en to ervaren list in Parisss::

- Openlucht bioscoop

- Bezoeken Montpellier

- Bezoeken Versailles

- Spa bezoeken in luxe hotel

- Wijn of champagne tasting

- Ontbijt bij Cedric Grolet

- Runclub joinen voor de vibes

De lijst gaat waarschijnlijk nog langer worden, maar ik kom nu even niet op alle dingen die ik wil doen en zien. Update: ik ben door de blog gaan scrollen - ik heb de grootste pinch me gevoel. Ik heb dit echt gemanifesteerd. Het kan niet anders. Zo'n mooi doel dat werkelijkheid wordt. 

once you stop fantasizing about that ideal version of yourself and start working towards becoming that person by setting your alarm clock earlier and actually going to the gym and actually volunteering at places and actually eating healthier and not procrastinating and working just a little bit harder you’ll realize that it was so easy all along. becoming your ideal self will only ever exist in your mind until you make the decision to work towards becoming that person. get up!! get going!! it’s now or never!! there is no light at the end of the tunnel!! get that flashlight and pave your own path bitch bc no one else is going to do it for u!!

Long time no see

De allerlaatste keer dat ik een post heb geschreven is al heel lang geleden. In de tussentijd dat ik niet actief ben geweest, is een hoop gebeurd. Ik kan met 100% zekerheid vertellen dat ik al mijn doelen en dromen die ik toen had heb kunnen verwezenlijken. Ondertussen ben ik 21 en al bezig met de volgende stap in mijn leven. Zo ben ik (als alles meevalt) binnen een halfjaar afgestudeerd en hoop ik in september al te kunnen beginnen met de pre-master fiscale economie aan UvA. Daarnaast ben ik wel zes kilo afgevallen, eet ik zelden dierlijke producten en heb ik zondag al een hardloopwedstrijd voor mijn eerste vijf kilometers. Op romantisch vlak heb ik nog steeds niet de juiste man leren kennen. Hoewel ik met velen wel leuk heb kunnen praten, is tot nu toe geen geweest die man genoeg is geweest om moeite voor te doen. 

Het lijkt mij wel leuk om naast alle stress in mij leven toch deze blog bij te houden, zodat ik wellicht in de toekomst weer teug kan kijken op mijn mid 20s en kan lachen om alle wendingen in het leven.

Happy new year!

• Change your expectations. Give yourself time to get things done. Learn to say no and to live within manageable limits.
• Thing about problems under your control and make a plan to solve them. Accept and set aside things you can't change, while focusing only on those you can.
• Know your stress triggers. Avoid whatever stress triggers you can. If possible, spend less time with people who bother you or avoid driving in rush-hour traffic.
• Make time to relax and to do activities you enjoy. Take 15 to 20 minutes a day to sit quietly and breathe deeply. Try to intentionally enjoy what you do rather than hurrying through your 'relaxing activities' at a stressful pace.
• Practice gratitude. Expressing gratitude to others can help reduce stressful thoughts.

“Do not look at yourself with disgust, you are a gift to this earth. You are beautiful, you are a light, an energy, an essence. You are nature herself.”

The amazing moments in life:

1. Coming home late and going straight to bed.
2. Buying amazing clothes that you found on sale.
3. Holding hands.
4. Unexpected moments that become your favorite memories.
5. Talking on the phone until five in the morning.
6. Resting on someone's chest.
7. Taking long showers that wash away your worries.
8. Feeling as though you finally belong somewhere.
9. Deciding what you want to do with your life
10. Feeling satisfied after a delicious meal.
11. Falling asleep instantly when you're upset.
12. Meeting people that happen to change your life.
13. When you have a great night of sleep.
14. Drinking a cup of tea.
15. Realizing everything is going to be ok.

February 01, 2013

Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, "I really love you". They're just talking or humming or watching a movie or reading a book or laughing or something, and there's something about them in that moment - their boy is alive, there's a light in their eyes, something - that makes you think, " I just really love you." It's a weird sensation to think this, but it's pretty awesome that we can feel this way about another being.

Believe in yourself. Study the greats and become greater. And be a scientist. Dissect. Dissect.

Imagine a library filled with every book in the world, none of them have titles on the cover and the pages are blank, but when you open one you are instantly transported to the world within the book. You get to live the story as any character for as long as you like. And when you come out of the story, almost no time has past in the real world.

I want to tell you howmuch I adore you, but I cannot fathom the words.

Let your past make you better, not bitter.

You should be able to make your man smile with your clothes on.

Change is opportunity and growth.

Starting today I will no longer depend on daily use of technology. It’s been a main distraction of mine for quite some time now. I’d like to be more productive and enjoy things out there. What I mean by this is, is that I’ll be shutting off my internet and cell phone for a while. I need to break away from this routine that’s been consuming so much of my time. Time that can be spent going out to different places. I want to wake up and have an actual schedule with things on my list. I want to be motivated and have things I can look forward to. I mentioned last night that I wanted novelty so I’m making it happen. I don’t care how ridiculous this might seem to some of you. I know it will do me good. Sometimes breaking out of habits can change you in ways you never thought were possible.
” If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  The smallest decisions are the ones that make the biggest difference in your life. ” - Nido Qubein

How to spend a day:

1. Defy the laws of gravity
2. Read a book
3. Eat cheesecake
4. Have brunch with someone you appreciate
5. Watch a movie
6. Stay in bed
7. If it's cold outside, bundle up and go to the park- swing until you're hearly frozen
8. Cook someone a meal
9. Go for a long walk
10. Make a snowman, even if there is no snow
11. Smile and tell someone you love them
12. Don't put your life to waste

Spend every moment awake.

Your lack of regard for grammar is proportional to my lack of respect for you.

When it comes to

Looks: No one stays pretty forever. We all get old, we all have babies, and our bodies change. Looks don’t define a person nor make them who they are. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what someone else considers to be beautiful you might not. While a person may be beautiful on the outside they may be miserable and nasty on the inside.

Holding a Grudge:  People change, people make mistakes. You can’t change a person, nor can you change what has happened in the past. Hating someone for a mistake that they made just puts YOU in the wrong. Move on in your life, let things go. It’s not worth fixating on something that you cannot change anymore and that has already happened. We all make mistakes, but it has no effect on us what other people do or have done.

Money: Money isn’t everything, and money can’t buy happiness. You appreciate the finer things in life more if you have worked for it, rather than getting it all handed to you.

Relationships:  In a relationship a person has to think about not only themselves but the other person as well. A relationship is not all about giving and expecting something back in return. Sometimes you give to the other person because you love them and appreciate them, while the only thing you need back in return is for them to love you and appreciate you as well.

Life Obstacles: Everything happens for a reason, and most of the time we don’t understand the reason but we know that it was for the best of us. Nobodies life is perfect, if everyone was perfect there would be no point in living on this earth. We are given obstacles so that we can learn from them and so that they can make us even stronger.

Letting Go: People come into our lives for a reason, and when they have fulfilled that reason they walk out of our lives. Relationships come and go, and not everyone ends up with the person that they thought would be their soulmate. People get old, and people die, but we never forget that those people have taught us the greatest life lessons ever and have shaped us into who we are. Always remember, that letting go of something or someone that you are so attached to is hard, but trying to keep whats not meant to be is even harder.

15 Wonderful Words With No English Equivalent

1. Zhaghzhagh (Persian)
The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage.
2. Yuputka (Ulwa)
A word made for walking in the woods at night, it’s the phantom sensation of something crawling on your skin.
3. Slampadato (Italian)
Addicted to the infra-red glow of tanning salons? This word describes you.
4. Luftmensch (Yiddish)
The Yiddish have scores of words to describe social misfits. This one is for an impractical dreamer with no business sense. Literally, air person.
5. Iktsuarpok (Inuit)
You know that feeling of anticipation when you’re waiting for someone to show up at your house and you keep going outside to see if they’re there yet? This is the word for it.
6. Cotisuelto (Caribbean Spanish)
A word that would aptly describe the prevailing fashion trend among American men under 40, it means one who wears the shirt tail outside of his trousers.
7. Pana Po’o (Hawaiian)
“Hmm, now where did I leave those keys?” he said, pana po’oing. It means to scratch your head in order to help you remember something you’ve forgotten.
8. Gumusservi (Turkish)
Meteorologists can be poets in Turkey with words like this at their disposal. It means moonlight shining on water.
9. Vybafnout (Czech)
A word tailor-made for annoying older brothers—it means to jump out and say boo.
10. Mencolek (Indonesian)
You know that old trick where you tap someone lightly on the opposite shoulder from behind to fool them? The Indonesians have a word for it.
11. Faamiti (Samoan)
To make a squeaking sound by sucking air past the lips in order to gain the attention of a dog or child.
12. Glas wen (Welsh)
A smile that is insincere or mocking. Literally, a blue smile.
13. Bakku-shan (Japanese)
The experience of seeing a woman who appears pretty from behind but not from the front.
14. Boketto (Japanese)
It’s nice to know that the Japanese think enough of the act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking to give it a name.
15. Kummerspeck (German)
Excess weight gained from emotional overeating. Literally, grief bacon.

How to read people’s minds.

Watch Those Pupils
A persons pupils get bigger when they are aroused, interested and/or receptive. If you look into his or her eyes and see those pupils growing large - it’s looking good for you. Basically big pupils (unless it’s just dark) mean a person likes what they see.

Try this experiment, and you’ll understand how immediate this effect can be. Go right now and look in the mirror at your own eyes. As you look at them, imagine a sexy man or woman you are attracted to - in whatever way would turn you on. You’ll see that your pupils get bigger in just seconds. Actually, if you love to fish, they may get big just thinking about a lake you love. Anything you like to look at can make your pupils bigger.

Now, there are two ways to use this.

1. Mind Reading
For the mind reading part, you can now watch for changing of pupil size to know if someone is interested in you or what you have to say. And yes, shrinking pupils generally do mean the person is not interested. Just be careful to note if light in the persons eyes is causing the shrinking pupils.

In addition to judging the general level of interest and/or receptivity to you, you can use pupil size to go a little
deeper into a person’s mind. For example, during the course of a conversation, you can describe various scenes or delve into different topics, while watching the persons pupils. If their pupils shrank at the mention of skiing, and got huge when you described a beach you like, you can be fairly certain they would like the Bahamas over a ski resort.

The great thing about this little trick is that you can easily test it and refine your technique. Start with a friend whose interests you know already, and watch their pupils as you describe various places or even ideas. See if getting them to visualize, by saying something “Remember how that car of yours looked,” gets a bigger pupil response.

2. Influencing
If you haven’t yet experimented with your own pupils, by watching them in the mirror, go try it now. You’ll find that you can quickly train yourself to change your pupil size at will. Just find a mental image or two that gets them really big, and use these as necessary. Look at a light briefly when you want to shrink your pupils back down. Now, how do you use this?

We all use little clues like pupil size as we interact with people. We are affected by people’s expressions and body language even when we haven’t yet learned to identify it. In other words - the person in front of you will unconsciously pick upon your enlarging pupils. They will unconsciously take this to mean that you like them,
and for many people, this will make them like you more.

Listen. This is the easiest and most effective way to read minds. Just pay attention, ask a few questions and listen to what they say about themselves.

Watch the Posture. Leaning towards indicates that the person is interested and receptive.

Watch For Hair Play. When women play with their hair while talking to you, it is almost always a sign of receptivity.

Watch the Mouth. A slightly open mouth is a sign of curiosity and interest.

Watch the Head. A tilting head, especially if it comes with a smile and eye contact, is a sign that the person likes you.

Watch the Eyes 
Here is what people’s minds are doing when they are thinking or asked to remember something. This is true for most right handed people (reverse all this for left-handed people): As you face them, and their eyes go:
Up and to the right - they are remembering a visual image.
Up and to the left - They are constructing a visual image.
To the right - They are remembering sounds or conversation.
To the left - The are constructing sounds or conversations.
Down and to the right - They are in an internal dialog.
Down and to the left - They are accessing kinesthetic feelings, tastes and smells.

How to influence the opposite sex:
Use Mirroring and Matching. Match the speed of your speech to that of the person you’re talking to. Sit like he or she is sitting. Use the words they use. This is a fast way to build rapport. Once there is a “bond” built, you can start to lead the conversation and actions where you want them to go.

Compliment Her or Him. Discover what the person is proud of first, then find a genuine way to compliment them in that area.

Listen. Always show a genuine interest in what the person is saying. Ask appropriate questions, so the person knows you’re paying attention. Use their interests to lead into a direction you want to go.

Make Good First Impressions. Men usually form a quick visual impression in less than 20 seconds, and then make another judgment based on appearance and personality within a couple minutes. Women usually place less immediate emphasis on appearance, and form an “intuitive” first impression in a couple minutes. The lesson? Work fast.

By Steve Gillman. Excerpt from “A Book of Secrets”

fuck.

Movies really do distort our perception of love and how love should be, which I think is the main reason why relationships end. People’s expectations of love are too high, and no ‘real life’ love will ever be a cut above any love played out in movies, books or tv, plays or even musical productions — stop convincing yourself you’ll be the exception to the rule, you won’t! I’m always guilty of feeling cheated by love, left broken and hurt, when in reality I’ve got it quite good. I just expect too much because I’m very much caught up in some fantasy man, who can offer some fantasy out-of-this-world love. I’m dreaming.